Kinship Foster Care Pros and Cons

121 thoughts on “Kinship Foster Care Pros and Cons”

1. Thanks for this. It goes with what I have said needs to be done in ALL States for ALL families caring for children they did not give birth to. Kinship parents-particularly Grandparents need free and easy access to trainings in how to care for neglect/abuse traumatized children. Otherwise the struggle can be too much and placements can fail or they simply fail to provide the children with the best possible outcome. This training should not only be offered to potential Foster Kinship Parents but should be offered (if not mandated) for informal Kinship Parents as well. It is those informal (non-licensed) homes that the biggest potential for failure lies because they have no supportive services in place, and often become isolated. And, the problem of dealing with their own child who is the biological parent of the child they are now raising can become heart wrenching as well, particularly if there are no guidelines set by the court or child welfare system.

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3. As a 10-year kinship care provider, I can honestly say that kinship care is never what you signed up for. Especially when the child’s parent’s are involved. Parent’s who are very sensitive to the situation and more than likely related to you. Kinship care providers not only require the services given to foster parents, but also need guidance on how to deal with the family dynamics as well. http://www.kinshipcareaint4sissys.com.

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5. We are well over 2 1/2 years caring for our granddaughters. To us, most shocking, is that Kin/Grandparents have no rights. We are looked at/treated as foster parents, and that’s it. It has been has a beautiful (raising our granddaughter since 2 months old, and a horror with the rest.

6. I need help to get my grandkids there disable I can’t find a lawyer that will take my case cuff is trying to give them up for adoption I need some one to hear me please help me

7. Hi Rosa, we’ll have a FAFS Family Advocate reach out to you via email to discuss this issue.

8. Help!!!!! My niece and nephews are in foster care and I went through all the formalities to get them from out of foster care, being though I’m the only family member who can take them. The system accepted all my paperwork and I have been told that the children do not want to leave the foster parents care. What can I do….. Since the foster care parents have no court order to keep bio family from the children. They will not the BIO family see the children at all. What should my next move be. I’m considering litigation to get my BIO family members.

9. Hi Charlene, Please email us at support@fafsonline.org and let us know your location. If you are in NJ, we will be able to assist you. If you’re not in New Jersey, we can offer limited assistance but will do what we can to connect you with an agency or nonprofit in your state that can help.

10. I am a foster parent of my biological grand daughter. However it wasn’t done as kinship. Just foster, the other grandmother is giving me a very hard time. Calling making subtle threats , screaming on voice-mail etc. What can I do ?

11. Hi Tams,

    Our advocates urge you to notify your caseworker about the threats being made by the other grandmother. You can also contact your local police department to file a complaint and obtain a temporary restraining order. If there is anything we can do for you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 609.520.1500.

12. In the state of North Carolina can I claim a child on my taxes if we have kinship custody that was placed by our county social services and had the child over 8 months.

13. Hi Brian, the general rule is a child that have been in a resource home for half a year (183 days/ 6 months) can be claimed on a family taxes. If this is the case, yes you can claim the child.The link below can further assist you.
    https://www.fafsonline.org/foster-adoptive-kinship-parents-federal-income-tax-information/.

14. My cousin and his partner just had their 4thr child taken from them yesterday morning. She is a newborn and my husband and I want to be concidered in her permanent placement/adoption. The last one was a newborn as well and we only heard through rumors that she was removed from them and no family was asked to take her that We are aware of. She went to a foster family. This newest baby is in Washington and we live Two hours from her in Oregon. Can you give us any advice or help in knowing how to and who to talk to?

15. It can be very stressful knowing that a family member is involved with Child Protection Services. If the child is in Washington State, you should contact Washington State Department of Social and Human Services. The links below will lead you to their website. If you are aware of the county the child is in, you can use the bottom link to search for the direct office that should have the child’s case. You will also need to know the biological parents names in order to find the appropriate caseworker for the child.

    https://www.dshs.wa.gov/ca/child-safety-and-protection/how-report-child-abuse-or-neglect

    https://fortress.wa.gov/dshs/f2ws03apps/caofficespub/offices/general/OfficePick.asp

16. I have a 1 year old grandchild that I have been raising for one year the mother is in prison and the father is my son that lives here often on and maybe going to prison too I want to make sure my grandchild is well taken care of I would like to continue to care for him but financially we are on a set income also I would like both parents to have to go to court and make sure they do what they got to do so the baby is well taken care of if they take him out of my home also I would like to have visitation weekends holidays stays in the summer if they do take him.. the mother is a from originally from Arizona and I’m from Iowa so this may become a problem the other grandmother is upset with me but I was told he could not leave Iowa I do not want no problems I just want my grandson to be well taken care of. both the parents of the baby are not capable of keeping care of they are both using drugs no jobs no homes of Their Own and in trouble with the law of course the mother dose not like like me. And won’t sign over and my son of course dose not like the mothers mother … Us grandparents dose not know each other well we been texing and visited once…. We both agree on the kids can’t keep care of the child… I have taken the repext care class… What else can I do to keep him with us some financial help and not let him go to Arizona only if the other grandmother mother will agree to bring him back so it’s court ordered and also the kids have to go through treatment and go to the courts to get him back and I can still have this atation when they get their life in order can you help me need help fast don’t have much money to work with thanks do you have a phone number I can call

17. Caring for grandchildren can be challenging especially when other grandparents reside in other states. If your grandchild has been in your care for a year, it would seem unlikely that the child would be moved from your care. If you are concerned about the child being moved it is best to discuss this concern with the child’s direct caseworker. As for financial assistance, if the child is placed through Iowa Child Protection Services, kinship families such as yourself are eligible for financial assistance through the state. If you are not receiving this assistance you would also need reach out and discuss with your caseworker. Iowa also has Iowa Foster and Adoptive Parents Association which provided further information regarding financial assistance for kinship families.

    http://www.ifapa.org/resources/kinship_resources.asp

    http://www.ifapa.org/resources/kinship_resources.asp

18. My parents are being assessed for kindship can I still fighting to have my children returned to my care and what are legal requirements and time frame for this

19. While your children are in the custody and care of a Child Protection Agency, you can still have your children reunified with you even when they are in a kinship placement. To do this, you must comply with the Child Protection Agency. You can hire an attorney to assist you or be assigned a public defender if you wish. Every case is different and every states policy regarding child protection is different so timelines also depend on the state you reside in. However, as per US Federal Law, the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997 requires that States move towards termination of parental rights for children who have been in foster care for 15 out of 22 months. There are acceptations to this requirement and attorneys and court process can delay this timeline greatly. With this federal guideline it is also important to keep in mind that the clock of 15 out of 22 months does not stop. Therefore, if your children were removed from your care prior for 10 months and then removed again this federal timeline technically does not stop but again areas such as court can delay the process.

20. I am a kinship foster parent of 4 girls we had them for over a year now . I live in Arizona. The state is now severing the birth parents right so when this is finalized we will probably adopt them. My question is that do we get any kind of funding from the state. I don’t know how we will be able to do this without it. Thx.

21. Lloyd you’ll never hear a story like this. We are kinship grandparents our daughters man went nuts Police by suicide ak47 on police department. Normal we thought he was hard worker no education Cheating on my daughter with best friend neighbor. After being ran out of a small town 5 months later we brought them home. Mom is on herion and stole all my wife’s jewelry. We had her removed from our house. Grandaughs are 13 and 9. She OD and the 9 year old came for help. OD again in dhs methadone program has warrants and girls were tought nothing about life. All 4 are mentally ill all symptoms 0f depression with doctors. Im ashamed of what happened they seem to egnore grandpop who has done all the therpay. Both grandaughs have stolen lied one phycristist wants on meds right away and in boarding home during the week home on the weekend. If we say no sleep over she calls her mom while were all sleeping and next day 9 year old will tell me. 9 year old cries all the time if she dont get her way. 12 year old in a year we talked 3 whole hours. There are two investigateshion going on in 1 week 10 false reports from their dads side who dose not care about girls. We raised two families of children and they turned out good our daughter will be in jail in20 days for 6 months to 5 years we will lose our grand children because of there parents genes or what a fight. To help them wife and i disable. Need good advice philadelphia

22. I live in los angeles county.
    My childrens school contacted cpsd for tardies they did home search found cluttered I was told to clean. They promised me the kids would remain with me. Cleaning was slow Iam very ill and was hospitalized for 14 days. They took my babies away anyway.Tell me what to do now?

23. Hello Jennifer,

    Thank you for reaching out to Foster and Adoptive Family Services. I am sorry to hear about the unfortunate events and removal of your children. When DCFS steps in and removes children they have found sufficient evidence of abuse and neglect or an imminent risk of abuse or neglect. Without knowing details of your situation, the best advice I can give is to maintain contact with the CPS worker or foster care caseworker that has been assigned. Their primary job is to keep children safe and get you services you need to be the best possible parent. The caseworker will be developing a case service plan with you that will address your strengths as well as areas that need improvement. With this will be the expectations that need to be met to have your children returned to your care. When children are removed, the courts are typically involved in this process as well. Again, make sure to maintain frequent contact with your assigned caseworker in regards to your service

    Here is a list of local offices for Los Angeles County DCFS: http://dcfs.lacounty.gov/contactus/locations.html
    I also found another link of resources that may be helpful to you: http://dcfs.lacounty.gov/forparents/index.html

    I hope this information is helpful to you!

    Lenore Bonilla
    FAFS Family Advocate

24. Hi Shannon,

    Thank you for reaching out to Foster and Adoptive Family Services. Each state varies with their requirements for when children qualify for adoption subsidies. Subsidies are typically talked about in two main forms, maintenance payments (financial) and health care. Subsidy may also cover special services and reimbursement of nonrecurring adoption expenses. Arizona does have a publication that talks about subsidy. The second page also lists adoption subsidy specialists contact information for specific questions. You can find this publication at this link: https://dcs.az.gov/sites/default/files/media/PAP-194-PD.pdf

    The children will also have an adoption worker once rights are terminated, if one has not already been assigned. Again, each state varies in how this is completed. For example, in New Jersey, once a case is looking like it is headed for termination the case will be transferred to an adoption worker who is also a state employee. I know other states still utilize private contracted adoption agencies and the children’s state caseworker will remain active on the case until the adoption is finalized. The way that Arizona handles this can be answered by the children’s caseworker. The adoption worker will be the person that completes the adoption subsidy. You can ask in advance if it is likely that subsidy will be approved and if the criteria have changed from this publication I provided.

    I hope this information is helpful!

    Lenore Bonilla
    FAFS Family Advocate

25. Hi Kristy,

    Thanks for reaching out to us – it sounds like you have a lot going on at the moment. There are a number of resources and support organizations in the Philadelphia area that might be useful for you, which I’ve listed below:

    Philadelphia Department of Human Services Resource Parent Handbook (http://www.phila.gov/dhs/pdfs/DHS%20Resource%20Handbook-%20FINAL%20VERSION%20small.pdf): This contains a lot of information about the role of kinship caregivers, the responsibilities of the Child Welfare System, and how to go about meeting the day-to-day needs of the children in your home.

    Kinship Care in Pennsylvania: Support for Families with Grandparents and Other Kin Raising Children (http://extension.psu.edu/publications/ui383) – This is another useful resource, which contains a lot of information about Kinship Care issues, support groups and programs, legal issues and where to find help when you need it (including free statewide assistance phone numbers).

    Kinship Caregiver Assistance Network (http://seniorlawcenter.org/projects-and-clinics/kin-can-%E2%80%9Ckinship-caregiver-assistance-network%E2%80%9D/) – This program is run by the Senior Law Center, and focuses on addressing the needs of grandparents who are raising relative children. They can assist with direct legal representation, counseling and advocacy services on custody, support, visitation, and a range of other issues. They also provide community-based workshops and seminars, and referrals to other services and information as needed.

    GrandFamily Resource Center (http://www.sown.org/grandfamily.html) – This organization assists grandparent caregivers through weekly support groups, family wellness workshops, outreach and advocacy, counseling, information and referrals.

    Grands as Parents (GAPS) (http://aese.psu.edu/extension/intergenerational/program-areas/kinship/programs/philadelphia/grands-as-parents-gaps) – This is a support group for grandparents raising grandchildren, which provides a space for grandparents to share common experiences, learn new skills, advocate for grandparents’ rights, make friends and reduce stress.

    Grandma’s Kids (http://education.temple.edu/igc/programs/grandmas-kids) – This program provides after school services aimed at helping children to resist substance abuse and violence, and providing support with homework and social/emotional skills.

    You can also dial 2-1-1 at any time to get free, confidential information and referrals for local services and programs.

    I hope this helps.

    Collie Crisman
    FAFS Family Advocate

26. Can someone explain to me the reason the subsidy payments change from Foster care amount to PCA/PMC amount? WE have had CPS custody of our niece & nephew since 9-15. We became licensed Foster parents in 12-16 because we were told that’s what we had to do to be able to keep the children and their benefits. PMC is scheduled to be granted to us in July of this year. Once that is granted, we will only receive 400.00/month or approx 13.00/day. Who can take care of a teenager on 13.00 a day. School lunches are 6.00/day. I just can’t understand the reasoning behind the change in payment amount…I was told by the case worker that basically it’s because we are family and are EXPECTED to do it!!

27. NJ Resource Parents receive a monthly board reimbursement or subsidy for each child placed in their home. This is also referred to in NJ as a board rate. Subsidy covers the child’s living expenses, such as food, shelter, personal allowance, general recreation activities, and cultural activities. NJ Division of Child Protection and Permanency determines the appropriate board rate by meeting with the resource parent, caseworker and CP&P nurse to participate in a Resource Family Care Rate Assessment, which reviews the circumstances of every child placed with a family. The initial review takes place at the time, or within 30 days, of placement. Based on guidelines, the appropriate rate for each child is determined. The caseworker then submits this rate for approval.

    The child’s age and level of care are assessed by the Resource Family Care Rate Assessment. As a child in care ages in NJ, the rate is increased. The rate is also increased if a child has medical and/or other special needs. When a rate is established, the rate is reassessed every 3 months by the caseworker as per CP&P policy.

    To see NJ rates for children in care, you can visit our website at https://www.fafsonline.org/foster-care-board-rates-nj/ for more information.

    Every state works differently in regards to subsidies for children in care. Some states provide kinship families with subsidies while others do not. Some provide higher rates while others do not. It truly depends on the state you reside in that will reflect the subsidy the children will receive. Due to the amount you are receiving, I would suggest researching your states policy in regards to subsidies to ensure that you are receiving an accurate rate. You can also request a meeting with your caseworker and their supervisor to discuss your rate and ways you may be eligible to increase this rate for the children.

28. Hi, my husband and I live in AZ and are kinship care for his sister’s baby. We got her very unexpectedly and very quickly when she was 11 mos old. We have had her 7 months today. Her mom and mom’s bf did so much meth around baby that at 11 months the baby herself tested as a “Daily User” through a hair folicle test. Meth was even found in baby’s wooden box sleeping area. We got baby through the awful withdrawals, all doctor appointments, tons of ‘service providers’, DCS home visits, did all the fingerprinting, background checks and interviews – our lives were turned upside down. We have completed half of the foster licensing classes and hit burnou a couple of weeks ago and something had to give. Every day it is 1, 2 or 3 things we haVE to do for baby, besides just care for her. I’m a homeschool mom and my husband works two jobs. Work/life/baby balance has been off balance for months. We were told by DCS worker when baby was placed with us that since baby is under two that permanancy would be decided within 6 months. Baby’s mom didn’t get started on her case plan for months and lied about the paterninty of baby. We got paternity straightened out – bio dad is bio mom’s ex-husband. He wants nothing to do with baby and told the court he would like baby to stay with us. Every time we have contact with baby’s DCS worker or her attorney or her service roviders we have been asked if we would be permanent. We had always said yes, as a last option (if bio mom or dad ciuldn’t/wouldn’t parent). But the case is dragging out and family dynamics and burnout hit us pretty hard. Being accused of trying to steal the baby from his sister is very upsetting to my husband. Bio mom does her visits twice a week (about all she does) but it is a 2 hour drive each way, so she blames this on why she can’t meet her other case plan requirements. She is very close to having the case plan change to severance/adoption due to failed drug tests and not attending therapy/counseling, but mainly b/c she is still living with bf who is a known drug abuser and is not doing any services as he was dropped from the case when paternity proved him t not be baby’s bio father. Baby’s attorney and DCS say she will have to choose bf or baby.
    My husband called baby’s DCS worker to have baby moved to foster care close to bio mom (his sister) so that she has every chance to meet her obligations to get baby back (less drive time, hopefully more incentive to do services) and to give us some time and to process the huge decision of adoption and the impact on our lives. Caseworker asked us is we could wait a few weeks so he could find the best licensed foster placement for baby. We of course said yes. We love her, but family dynamics and stress are big right now. We still have baby.
    We want bio mom to have every opportunity to get baby back, but if she doesn’t, we want to have the chance to adopt her (free of DCS, appointments, classes, in-home visits, etc.) The baby is not the stressor, it is all the red tape that comes with her that leaves us exhausted and discouraged. We had no idea at the begining when we had just a few minutes to decide to take her in just how invasive and time-comsuming it would be.
    Questions:
    1. How long does the process of “termination/adoption” take in AZ until adoption can take place?
    2. If we disrupt the placement, and if mom’s rights do eventually get terminated, will we still be able to adopt baby?
    Thank you for reading all this. God bless!

29. It can be very challenging when you are caring for a relative while also dealing with Child Protection Services, custody and court matters no matter which state you reside in. Each state has their own polices and practices that they follow; however as per US Federal Law, the Adoption and Safe Families Act of 1997 requires that states move towards termination of parental rights for children who have been in foster care for 15 out of 22 months. There are exceptions to this requirement and attorneys and court processes can delay or advance this timeline. Since the biological mother is not complying with Child Protection Services and if she continues to be non-compliant, usually this process will be expedited as the state’s Child Protection Services have you noted as a potential for adoption.

    Having a child moved from your home to another does open the possibility that Child Protection Services will look at other potential adoptive family. This may occur if the child is placed into a home that is an adoptive home and the child remains there for an extended amount of time. Also, each time a child is moved trauma is caused to the child and bonding becomes more challenging. If the child moves to a new placement and a bond is developed it can be argued that the child must remain with this family. However, it can also be argued that the child best interest is with kin, which states will always attempt to place children with kin when able. This situation is a tough. You should set a meeting with the child’s caseworker, supervisor, and possibly their supervisor as well as the child’s attorney to discuss your concerns as well as the best plan for the child. Whenever having a meeting or discussion it is a good idea to send all parties a follow up email as this will provide written documentation for everyone. You should always be able to send emails and letters to create your own documentation.

30. My husband and I are in the process of trying to get two of my cousins kids. They are in Georgia and we are in North Carolina. They have been in foster care for two years. What happens if we are to get them with the mom? She is telling other family members after Thirty days the case will be closed once they are with us and she can get them back? Is that true? Also the oldest child is really giving us a hard time. She doesn’t want to leave Georgia because she will be 18 next year ans will age out but the youngest is only 9 and will have to remain in foster care if we don’t get them. The oldest have also been leaving very bad messages on our voicemail. what should we do about that. We were approved in Georgia we are now just waiting on the NC Social Worker to come out to do a home visit. We are really trying to help because none of our family is in Georgia. We all live in North Carolina but all of this makes me worry if we are doing the right thing.

31. We know it can be very challenging when a situation arises where a family is out of state from the children that are in care. States usually seek to place a child or children with kin whenever possible; however there can be areas that can make this challenging. If the goal is to have the children enter your home, Georgia Child Protective Services should be moving towards your family as a final permanency plan. If you are adopting the children once they are with you, then the case would close after adoption occurs. Usually, this does not happen right away as Child Protective Services will still need to ensure that the children are doing well in your care prior to the case closing. If you adopt the children, they are legally viewed as your children and the biological mother will have no legal rights to the children.

    If you don’t adopt but instead obtain Kinship Legal Guardianship (KLG), the biological mother would still have rights. However, they would be limited. Our Keeping You Informed Bulletin regarding KLG in New Jersey may be of assistance but please be sure to see how KLG works in your state. https://www.fafsonline.org/fact_sheets/klg_faq.pdf

    It is unlikely that the biological mother will obtain her children after they are placed with you although every case is unique and different. You should maintain regular contact with the children’s caseworkers in Georgia to ensure they are aware of your concerns.

    Since the eldest child is 17, she is able to advocate and voice her concerns about leaving Georgia. Her caseworkers, law guardian and judge should be taking her concerns into consideration to ensure she has the best plan for her future. It is possible that her younger sibling would enter your home while she remains in Georgia with a separate and different permanency plan. Due to this and the voicemails she is leaving you, it is very important you stay in regular contact with the children’s caseworker in order to share these concerns as they will be better able to advise you.

    Caring for children in care can be very difficult because nothing is guaranteed and everything is on a case-by-case basis. Ensuring that you have regular contact with all parties involved will help you during this challenging process.

32. I live in Illinois and have had my niece and nephew for 17 months. At the end of this month, CFYS is placing them with Bio dad because Mom had been deemed unfit. He is an alcoholic who lied on his assessment (3 dui’s and no license) and lives with 2 guy roommates. I am heartbroken

33. I have a question I have a friend who lives in Az and and I live in mo and her kids were put into foster care with her mother i law not a good place and here’s the question if she were to ask if I could take kinship of her children do u think that would be possible?

34. We have my now 2 yr old great nephew has living with us since he was 6 weeks old through voluntary informal kinship care. He has an airway disorder which has included countless specialty appointments, hospital stays, ambulance rides, & a scope to look at his airways. Bio Mom has attended 1 appointment due to her mother’s insistence and bio dad has not attended any. They only visit on holidays or an occasional family dinner again with her mother’s insistence. We go months without hearing from them not even so much as a text to see how he’s doing. I am so scared they are going to come in one day and try to take him from us. We have contacted a lawyer, but we are still scared a judge will rule in their favor…it will hurt us, but I am so scared for his health and safety. Any insight into this would so greatly be appreciated.

35. Hi Kara,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like this is an informal placement, and that you may have a temporary arrangement through the family courts, or no formal, legal arrangement in place at this point. With private arrangements, the Division of Child Protection and Permanency (or your state’s equivalent, if you live outside of New Jersey) often aren’t involved, and so support is usually more limited. If the Division is involved, and your great nephew has a caseworker, I’d suggest you speak with the caseworker to express your concerns, and to establish what their plans are moving forward. If not, it might be worth contacting your local family court for advice.

    I’d recommend that you document any concerns you that you have, and if you are in New Jersey, you could also contact Legal Services of New Jersey at 1-888-576-5529 for further guidance. If you’re not currently residing in New Jersey, I’d recommend that you research community agencies in your area that might be able to provide additional support.

    If you have any further questions, please feel free to reach out to me at (609)520-1500, Ext. 305, or at ccrisman@fafsonline.org.

    Collie

36. Hello, my nephew has been placed with me twice due to his mom being on drugs she lost custody of her first daughter and her dad has her. he’s only 19 months and he shouldn’t have been returned the first time…she dodged cps for 4 mths and they finally caught up with her and now he’s back with me. The former cps worker quit due to this particular location not doing what’s best for the children and she told me it should have been a removal but the director /supervisor didn’t want to stop what she was doing to come in the office to do the paperwork.. Now cps is wanting close the case and leave me to decide if he goes back to her later, I’m asking for kinship but the caseworker said that I don’t qualify that’s only for foster care which I’ve done my homework on to know better. They recently had a meeting and the coordinator left me vm saying they forgot to include me in the meeting and could I attend by phone but never stated a time. Cps caseworker sent the same message. They had the meeting with his mom without me and had her to agree to allow him to stay with me. He’s not legally protected is there some help out here to help me fight for kinship for him he’s had a ear infection since he was months old to still now they told me he needs tubes…I’ve been going back and forth with cps and his mom trying to get him seen but my hands are tied he was behind on his shots…this has been a headache because I feel as if cps don’t really care especially if they close this case… please help I’m in Texas

37. It can be very challenging when you are caring for kin and working with your states Child Protection Agency. Unfortunately, FAFS is only contracted through NJ’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency. We are not familiar with Texas policies and procedures, therefore we are limited on ways to assist. However, I was able to pull some agencies in your state that may be able to further assist you.

    Texas Law Help- Free legal services and advice
    https://texaslawhelp.org/

    Texas Department of Family and Protective Services- Office of Consumer Affairs- handles complaints about specific cases relating to DFPS program policy
    http://www.dfps.state.tx.us/contact_us/questions_and_complaints/OCA.asp

    For addressing your concerns the most appropriate plan of action is to continue to voice your concerns through Texas Chain of Command. This would be the caseworker, caseworker’s supervisor and so on until your concerns are addressed. I would also recommend having some form of documentation such as email or a notebook to note who you spoke with, what was discussed and the day and time to further document your concerns and your attempts to address your concerns.

    I do apologize that we cannot be of more assistance; however we do hope this information helps.

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

38. Our niece and nephew were just taken from their parents earlier this week and placed in a resource home in northern NJ. My husband and I live in PA and have expressed our interest to the intake worker that took the children to have the kids placed with us. My husband spoke to the intake woman for about 5 mins the night that she removed them from the home and he told her that we would like to care for them. I know there is a process to get the case transferred from NJ to PA, and I have heard that they try to place the children in kin care as quickly as possible, but I have called the intake woman twice and left messages for her (once on Nov 15th and first thing this morning) but we have not heard back from her. We are concerned for the babies and would like to have them placed with us. How long does it usually take to hear back from the county to get the process started?

39. A family that is seeking to obtain custody of children that do not reside in their state can be challenging. NJ Division of Child Protection and Permanency will attempt to keep children with kin whenever possible. Usually kin is identified by the biological parents as kin placement of their children is discussed with them. Timelines for a child to enter your home whether kin or non-kin can vary greatly from case to case. Since you have reached out to the child’s caseworker it is appropriate to follow the chain of command within the child’s caseworkers office to ensure that your concerns are being addressed. This would consist on notify the caseworker, their supervisor and the supervisors supervisor and so on and so further until your concerns are addressed. You may also email the caseworkers so you are documenting your concern and the time and date it was sent to the them.

40. I am the foster parent to my grandchildren and I am the only relative who sought custody of them but when I got them the other foster parent kept clothes belonging to the children and also an expensive car seat that belonged to the youngest child. I had to buy another car seat and could not get reimbursed because that was already taken from the budget. I am suppose to get an ERR payments and after 2 months that still has not happened and the supervisor on the case keeps giving me the run around. I have been served with an eviction notice because I have only worked part-time since the death of my other grandchild and all the Dept of Family & Children Service wants to do is find me places for clothes. Looking at how happy my grand-kids are help soften the blow. Any suggestions?

41. I need some advice. My sister lives in South Carolina and has had her 2 kids taken away and they are in foster care. She is willing to sign rights to me and my husband, we live in Texas though, so we can be the kinship caregivers . The social worker wants the foster family that has the children to adopt them she doesn’t even want to even consider us. It’s a very biased opinion from the social worker and I feel that this is not right. What steps do we need to do so we can try and get the kids in our care. We are their family and want nothing more than to be there for our niece and nephew. I have done some reading up but all this is so new to me I’m afraid the social worker will use that against me when or if she ever gets back to us. It’s really hard trying to contact the social worker when they are in another state. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

42. If you are a New Jersey foster parent, I would recommend contacting our FAFS Family Advocates to further assist this situation. If you are a resident from another state, unfortunately, FAFS is only contracted through NJ’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency. We are not familiar with other states policies and procedures, therefore we are limited on ways to assist.

    However, for addressing your concerns the most appropriate plan of action is to continue to voice your concerns through your state’s Chain of Command. This would be the caseworker, caseworker’s supervisor and so on until your concerns are addressed. I would also recommend having some form of documentation such as email or a notebook to note who you spoke with, what was discussed and the day and time to further document your concerns and your attempts to address your concerns. I would also recommend researching support services for kin and foster parents in your state to see if another agency may be able to assist.

    I do apologize that we cannot be of more assistance; however we do hope this information helps

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

43. A family that is seeking to obtain custody of children that do not reside in their state can be challenging. NJ Division of Child Protection and Permanency and other state agencies will attempt to keep children with kin whenever possible. Usually kin is identified by the biological parents as kin placement of their children is discussed with them. Timelines for a child to enter your home whether kin or non-kin can vary greatly from case to case. Since you have reached out to the child’s caseworker it is appropriate to follow the chain of command within the child’s caseworkers office to ensure that your concerns are being addressed. This would consist on notify the caseworker, their supervisor and the supervisors supervisor and so on and so further until your concerns are addressed. You may also email the caseworkers so you are documenting your concern and the time and date it was sent to the them.

    Interstate Compact on the Placement Children (ICPC) is an agency based on the legal agreement between all 50 states, the District of Columbia and the US Virgin Islands and controls the placement of children from one state into another state. It ensures that children moving through state lines are safe, potential caregivers are suitable, and guarantees that the individuals or entities placing the child remain legally and financially responsible following placement. In order for an ICPC placement request to get started, the child’s caseworker in the state the child is located creates a packet that includes a child’s social, medical, and educational history and the current status of any court case involving the child. The packet will also include information about you as you are being considered for placement of the child in the receiving state so that the receiving state will know who they should be evaluating for possible placement.

    The sending ICPC office will send this packet to the receiving ICPC office which will then be shared with that state’s Child Protection Agency and a caseworker will begin to assess you and your home for placement. When this assessment is complete the Child Protection Agency will then send the packet back to the sending ICPC office which will then be shared with that state’s Child Protection Agency. You can also reach out to sending and receiving ICPC offices to obtain status of this case. I have added the link to ICPC to further assist.

    Unfortunately, FAFS is only contracted through NJ’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency. We are not familiar with South Carolina or Texas policies and procedures, therefore we are limited on ways to assist. For addressing your concerns the most appropriate plan of action is to continue to voice your concerns through South Carolina’s Chain of Command. This would be the caseworker, caseworker’s supervisor and so on until your concerns are addressed. I would also recommend having some form of documentation such as email or a notebook to note who you spoke with, what was discussed and the day and time to further document your concerns and your attempts to address your concerns. Also usually, starting the process of becoming a licensed resource (foster) parent in your state if you have not done so may assist with the child or children being placed with you quicker; however this is not guaranteed.

    I do apologize that we cannot be of more assistance; however we do hope this information helps

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

44. I live in Arizona. My granddaughter has a very close friend, both 15 that has been kicked out of mother’s home. At first her room was given away to a paid tennet, the the spare room was cleared from beds and dresser. She slept on the couch. Two weeks ago she was l8cked out if the house. The mother tells her she doesn’t love her to go find her real mom. Her dad lives in an undesirable area in jersey. She doesn’t want to go. We have been taking care of her but if I contact cps , would they take her from us?

45. Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS) provides services and assistance to New Jersey licensed resource, kinship and adoptive families therefore we are unfortunately limited on how we can assist. However, if you feel that any child is suffering from abuse and/or neglect you must immediately contact your states Child Protection Agency. For Arizona, you would contact Arizona Department of Child Safety Child Abuse Hotline at 1.888.767.2445. It is unknown if the child would continue to stay with you if their agency becomes involved; however it is your responsibility to ensure this is reported to your state.

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

46. I totally agree I have had my sister kids almost 2 years, I decided to adopt the three of them and they also agreed. This has been an awful experience and stressful with the workers lawyers and advocates. I recently just got two more of her kids because I did not want them in the system or separated. They are very good kids so I don’t mind I just been having a hard time with keeping my job with all the demands and appointments. I just recently moved in April I was excited because it was a bigger place. But I did not expect my landlord to sell it. Now I don’t currently no the landlord just the management company, I have sent in major work orders and they all have been denied. So I’m currently looking to move unfortunately I can’t buy I have to rent so even finding a place with all these kids is hard no one wants so many kids in their property. This has been so hard for me but I’m not going to give up.

47. Hi. I’m in Rhode Island and fostering my grandson. His mom an dad were both doing drugs. I’ve been harassed by DCYF for missing a visit with his dad (which I cancelled due to my grandson running a temp). I’ve been brought up as manipulating visits and told me this was my last chance I’ve been accused of having my daughter living here an a task force assigned to my home. I don’t want to toot my own horn but we live in affluent area owners of a multi million dollar business and responsible hard working people. It seems like I have no rights at all with this being my grandson. I keep being told “ your a foster parent”. I repeatedly tell them ima GRANDPARENT FIRST AND FORMOST I am a foster parent second. This is my blood. To the assh**le social workers, who are all kids with their minimal degree to talk down to people who are providing a safe secure home for their family is not only insulting its embarrassing. I guess my question is I need to know how I can find out what rights I have an what exactly are my rights with a task force entering my home at random times an do they need a search warrant to do this?

48. Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS) provides services and assistance to New Jersey licensed resource, kinship and adoptive families therefore we are unfortunately limited on how we can assist since you are not a NJ resident. It can be very challenging when a relative is in care no matter which state you reside in. Each state has their own policies and practices that they follow which can also make things challenging as well. Usually the rights and responsibilities of resource parents whether kin or non kin are the same if not very similar. This can usually be found with your state’s policy. Rhode Island Department of Children, Youth & Families has their policy at the below link. Child Protection Services throughout the U.S. do not need a search warrant to enter your home; however if you were to restrict access to your home Child Protection Services can obtain a court order to enter your home. If you continue to restrict access to your home local police may become involved due to evading a court order.

    http://www.dcyf.ri.gov/policyregs/

    In regards to addressing your concerns regarding being a kinship parent the most appropriate plan of action is to voice your concerns through the state’s Chain of Command. This would be the caseworker, caseworker’s supervisor and so on until your concerns are addressed. I would also recommend having some form of documentation such as email or a notebook to note who you spoke with, what was discussed and the day and time to further document your concerns and your attempts to address your concerns. It is appropriate to write letters of concern and send to all parties involved with the children’s case including the judge. I would also recommend researching support services for kin in your state to see if another agency may be able to further assist.

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

49. hi, I live in Michigan and my aunt has had her kids removed from her custody, I’m not sure if she terminated full rights at this point but she can not see them or visit them without a “supervisor”.
    Originally when they were taken they were given to their father which lives in a different state, after he failed to take care of them, custody was taken from him as well and given to his mother, their grandmother. The boys were raised with our family their whole life and we had no chance in getting them per the case worker. She said we were too close to my aunt and we were never given the option. I love these boys so much and I always want to see them and visit with them and have them spend the weekend or day with me and my kids but i have to jump through hoops, i have to schedule a visit72 hours in advance. they can never spend the night with me or come back to the city I live in, i asked the case worker and her supervisor if i could do anything to keep them close to me and my kids. I understand the rules to not let my aunt be around when i have them, i agreed to a criminal back ground check. As of right now i am applying for a foster license to see if it’ll help me to see them more and have more access. im hoping for some insight or direction in our case.

50. I really don’t know but I’m very trying to be ups the mystic I really do wanna topped two children that I know because the mother grew up in my home and I consider her as my sister now they tell me they might come to my house because now they terminated her right now they’re thinking the foster parents want to adopt them but what about me I want them to know I’m kind of nervous is now they telling me I might not even get them because I am not blood related even though that I spend time with the two-year-old for almost a year and now she’s been away from us for six months and I am very close to the family

51. Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS) provides services and assistance to New Jersey licensed resource, kinship and adoptive families therefore we are unfortunately limited on how we can assist since you are not a NJ resident. It can be very challenging when a relative is in care no matter which state you reside in. Each state has their own policies and practices that they follow which can also make things challenging as well. This information can usually be found with your state’s policy. Michigan Department of Health and Human Services has their policy at the below link to further assist.

    http://www.mfia.state.mi.us/olmweb/ex/html/

    In regards to addressing your concerns regarding being a kinship parent the most appropriate plan of action is to voice your concerns through the state’s Chain of Command. This would be the caseworker, caseworker’s supervisor and so on until your concerns are addressed. I would also recommend having some form of documentation such as email or a notebook to note who you spoke with, what was discussed and the day and time to further document your concerns and your attempts to address your concerns. It is appropriate to write letters of concern and send to all parties involved with the children’s case including the judge. I would also recommend researching support services for kin in your state to see if another agency may be able to further assist.

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

52. I have been a kinship foster parent (thru Dcf) to my two grandchildren for 18 months. Dad had been doing weekly visits with the children supervised by me and things were great. Recently I allowed them to spend Christmas Eve overnight with dad and had the children removed from my home. I made a mistake that is very clear but what can I do to resolve this and get my grandchildren back.

53. I have a question. We have taken in 3 of my 6 nieces and nephews. Two went to live with a family friend and one went to her bio dad. We have a 6, 11 and 13 year old.
    One of the kiddos we took in is having a very hard time. I went from being the fun Aunt, to being a parent figure. She did really well until she started having weekly visits with her mom. Now every night she is screaming and yelling how she hates us, threatening to run away, to burn the house down, breaking stuff, throwing stuff at me, threatening to say whatever she has to in order to get us in trouble so we lose the other two as well.
    We had to take everything out of her room but her bed, dresser and clothes. She gets her other stuff but only for periods of time. We do not have the money to continue to replace stuff, fix the holes in walls, etc.
    When she acts likes this she makes it very known that she knows there is nothing we can do and she smiles and continues to scream.
    We have been recording her behavior.
    The 6 year old is terrified he will have to leave my house. He feels safe here and loved. He gets physically sick when her tantrums happen. The 13 year old hates to be around her because it brings flashbacks of the mother and her physical and emotional abuse.
    These “episodes” happen whenever she has to go to bed or do something she doesn’t feel like such as chores, school or bed time.
    Her grades are F’s, she yells at her teachers, goes in to her brothers classes and yells and hits him or other kids. She spends most of her school days in In School Suspension.
    This has started since around Christmas time and have just gotten much worse.
    We have tried counseling, activities, one on one time, a reward system, just about everything I can think of.
    It has turned my home in to a nightmare.
    So I guess my question is, can I have her removed for a period of time so she sees that there are rules everywhere and that there are options that I have. Can I have her removed permanently? If she is removed will the other two be taken because she is so out of control?
    We have tried to contact the case worker for guidance through phone calls and texts and she says she will call but we are still waiting.
    Any help or advice would be great.
    Thank you!

54. I have a question so my daughter cps case was close in november of last year 2017. the case worker left the baby in my care, the baby mother left and went to indiana but she came back but i still have the baby. when she left her and baby daddy are have domostic violence cases open. so am asking can i still apply for the kinship program?

55. If you are a New Jersey foster parent, I would recommend contacting our FAFS Family Advocates to further assist this situation. If you are a resident from another state, unfortunately, FAFS is only contracted through NJ’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency. We are not familiar with other states policies and procedures, therefore we are limited on ways to assist.

    However, children can only have custody exchanged from person to person if the state child protection agency takes custody or family court grants custody to another person other than the biological parents or custodial parent. Both ways would need to be finalized in court as a judge has final say regarding a child custody. If custody is obtained directly through court without a child protection agency’s intervention, services after custody is granted can be limited pending on local community resources. Again, if you are a NJ licensed resource parent you can also reach out to our FAFS Family Advocates to assist further by contacting our office at 1.800.222.0047.

56. If you are a New Jersey foster parent, I would recommend contacting our FAFS Family Advocates to further assist this situation. If you are a resident from another state, unfortunately, FAFS is only contracted through NJ’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency. We are not familiar with other states policies and procedures, therefore we are limited on ways to assist.

    However, usually in most states if a removal of a child is needed the state child protection agency will remove all children in the home. This is due to the thought that if a child is unsafe than all children are deemed unsafe in the home. Also, children cannot usually be removed unless there is a concern for their safety. I understand your concerns for the child and how her behaviors effect the home. The child may be doing this for numerous reasons and it must be remembered that our children in care are children that have suffered trauma and can behave in ways that will test your care and commitment to them. I would recommend looking into the Nurtured Heart Approach training. This is a new approach that we are training families on and its gives parents tools to help manage our children whether they suffer from behavioral challenges or not. This approach has been proven to work in many situations. I would also recommend reaching out to the caseworker, the caseworker supervisor, and other professionals regarding this child’s case via email to request a meeting to discuss ideas and thoughts of how to move forward in an attempt to retain the child in your home. Again, if you are a NJ licensed resource parent you can also reach out to our FAFS Family Advocates to assist further by contacting our office at 1.800.222.0047.

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

57. If you are a New Jersey foster parent, I would recommend contacting our FAFS Family Advocates to further assist this situation. If you are a resident from another state, unfortunately, FAFS is only contracted through NJ’s Division of Child Protection and Permanency. We are not familiar with other states policies and procedures, therefore we are limited on ways to assist.

    If the biological parents have their child removed by the states’ child protection agency then you would be able to have the child placed with you as a kinship placement. This can be completed by contacting the child caseworker. Again, if you are a NJ licensed resource parent you can also reach out to our FAFS Family Advocates to assist further by contacting our office at 1.800.222.0047.

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

58. My niece and nephew are separated in the Iowa foster care system. My family…myself, my mother, our extended family are all more than open to having them live with us yet Iowa decided to put them in traditional foster care and are pursuing permanency with their foster families. Against what their biological family wants. We love them and want them. Why Iowa has decided to basically steal them from us we can’t figure out. This is hurting our entire family but we don’t know who to turn to. Our words just fall on deaf ears. Iowa is infamous for tearing families apart. Money talks though.

59. I guess I should say my family and I are in Kansas, where the kids are originally from. They (the kids and their parents) moved to Iowa where the kids were taken from their parents care over spending the night outdoors on a warm night. I don’t know why they did when they had a home, but they did. The police called and asked me to come get the kids, I had 48 hours to do so, however, 3 hours later they call me back and say “Never mind. The judge doesn’t want to hold them for 48 hours and we are placing them in state custody.” I was already on my way there. It would have been 10 hours max.

60. My nephew was taken away from mom my brother was incarcerated , a distant relative who works as a jailer contacted us in Texas , he ended Picking up my Nephew was placed in his care, as soon as we found out CW information we called and let her know we wanted my nephew and would take full responsibility , she stated we had to wait a couple of months , mother and father talked to their Atty about giving right to me so we can pick up my nephew . We explained to them nephew was placed with distant relative he didn’t even know. CW was already looking for foster to adopt. This is on the state of Iowa , I have been through three attorneys , CW, state has not given us chance to get nephew, distant relative does not allow grandparents any communication or visitations. I don’t understand. Mom lost custody she had nental issues , dad has been released and had done everything in his power to try to get son back but CW adimant to push for adoption. Any one in iowa who can help us

61. Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS) provides services and assistance to New Jersey licensed resource, kinship and adoptive families therefore we are unfortunately limited on how we can assist since you are not a NJ resident. It can be very challenging when a relative is in care no matter which state you reside in. Each state has their own policies and practices that they follow which can also make things challenging as well. This information can usually be found with your state’s policy. Iowa Department of Health and Human Services has their policy at the below link to further assist.

    http://dhs.iowa.gov/policy-manuals

    Sincerely,
    Frank Alvarez
    Digital Content Creator

62. Please help me! I’ve had my niece for over 12 months, she’s been in DCF care for over 24 months. They changed the goal from adoption to reunification a few months ago. No one will listen or help me protect this baby. I live in Mississippi but she’s here via icpc from Massachusetts. I’ve never thought it was possible for a dcf agency to be so inept!

63. Thank you for reaching out to Foster and Adoptive Family Services (FAFS). FAFS provides services and assistance to New Jersey licensed resource, kinship and adoptive families therefore we are unfortunately limited on how we can assist since you are not a NJ resident.

    In regards to addressing your concerns the most appropriate plan of action is to voice your concerns through the state’s Chain of Command. This would be the caseworker, caseworker’s supervisor and so on until your concerns are addressed. I would also recommend having some form of documentation such as email or a notebook to note who you spoke with, what was discussed and the day and time to further document your concerns and your attempts to address your concerns. It is appropriate to write letters of concern and send to all parties involved with the children’s case including the child attorney and the judge. You can also contact them directly via phone. I would also recommend researching support services in your state to see if another agency may be able to further assist.

    I hope this information assists.

    Corissa Kazar
    Support Services Manager

64. i have a child who is in temp fc
    and i accept the have an attachment
    also myself and my son have an attachment and i have always got on freat with the FC
    however llast week has made me very concerned about my chilldren
    my 2 year old baby was rushed into hospital as he has swallowed 3 pills in the care of fc i was not aware untill the following morning
    my point is that i have had them taken for less “Possibility that I cannot keep them safe” although they have never came into Amy danger I’m my care and sw have openly said I don’t pose a risk to my children
    However I had my oldest son when I was 16 after 5 weeks I took my baby to our doctor he gave me antibiotics said it was just a virious any way I had been giving him the drops of antibiotics and I must have slitlghtly touched him soft gum as he was toggling and I couldn’t properly get him the take the antibiotics
    And I tool him to hospital and they apparently found he had a small tear in his frenulum and it was not visible to the eye, I have never seen any evidence of this tear and Althouh I did go through the family court and case was abandoned and I was to go and collect my baby however police still had taken criminal procedures against me and was at that time 2005 charged and convicted what
    With a s1 section12
    of the child and young person’s act Scotland which has ruined my live and I have struggle to get a job since I’ve had The charge
    So what I am concerned about as of that was back when I was sixteen
    And not at all a full trained parent I was new and learning
    So why do foster carers get away with leaving pills around and my baby swallowed them which could have killed him and investigation & punishment was absent and walked out if hospital just like I did wen I was 16 but I was later charged with an offence against a child by police and had to go through criminal court
    Even Althouh I had been investigated at the time of the accident and forensic proved it was accidental and the case was closed no further action
    But a FC gets to walk free
    Can I please ask is this what would normally happen as I think it’s insane how it’s different for a FC that it is for a mummy should decision not be based on proof and the child being saftley and properly protected As my child has suffered not possibility or Mabey but he did suffer harm in the care of the FC
    Can I go to police to ask for an investigation to be launched as this has effected my health and well being I can’t sleep can’t eat
    And can’t get it out my head
    I looked in the mirror today and I can swear it wan not me unseen I looked like a am dying my eyes have big black rings my skin is grey my health is deteriorating rapidly,
    I just cannot seem to find any orginisation or persons to help support or give advice to birth parents
    I’m really struggling to cope & understand.
    Any advice would be appreciated

65. I need help with a question I have been having my four grandkids since June of last year cause my daughter has a open cps case so they name me the pcp in April of this year the court gave me kinship of them well a few days ago my 1 year old grandson accidentally got burned on his leg while I was ironing clothes the iron was on the floor at this time I called my caseworker told her what happened she told me to take him to doctor I did they next day she removed them saying reports of physical abuse I guess I’m asking will the judge put them back in my care after we go to court and hear my side of the story of how the accident happen help plz I would never do anything to hurt my grandkids it was a accident

66. My cousin was arrested over a year ago and lost custody of his 6 month old baby girl. The mother was in jail at the time. The baby was placed with me and I have had her for every a year now. The social worker urged me to go to court and fight for permanent custody, which I won. Neither parent has visited, though they both were given supervised, third party visitation. Here are my questions… Since she was placed with me instead of foster care, I receive no monetary help not support services aside from Medicaid. Also, I feel very unprotected and have invested a great deal and live under the fear that the parents will come back and take her away after we have gotten so attached. I am a foster parent and I had asked the worker to put her in the system and then place her with me so that rights could be terminated, we’d have financial help and support services, and I could adopt her… She said that she couldn’t guarantee she’d be placed with me so I did add she recommended. Now I have had to stay home with her sure to her needs (excessive do exposure), so I lost my income from my teaching position, I am struggling financially with another mouth to feed (I’m a single mom with 3 other girls, two in college) and I live with the fact that she could be taken. It’s a dreadful place to live… I cannot afford to pay a lawyer to adopt her, nor do I want to sit the nest… What can I do?

67. I forgot to mention that I am in Virginia.

68. you sound very concerned for your children. you are a good mother. please tell your court appointed lawyer all of this. if you dont have one go to the court and ask for one. they are free for people involved with CPS who cannot pay.

    be well
    k

69. My husband and I are foster parents and have two kids 4 and 2 years old for 1 month now in TN, the kids were taken out of a kinship foster home because of physical abuse allegations, the school found bruces on the buttock and upper back of the 4 yr old, and their is an investigation going on at the moment, the kids were in their care for 1 1/2 years, right now the kinship parents are not allowed any contact. Seems like the Bio parents miight be givin up their rights soon and the kinship foster parents want to adopt them. We would like to adopt them as well. but first of all we want what is best for the kids. However, we are very confused and don’t know if the kinship parents will be given another chance. We have been told by the DCS worker that she doesn’t know how long the investigation will take, and eventhough the kinship parents are not suppose to have contact with the kids, the DCS worker gave us a letter and pictures from the kinship parents to show to the kids. We would have no problem showing, except that the kids haven’t asked for them at all, kids called us mom and daddy from day one, which is nice but surprising to hear that right a way, they have been with us for 1 month. they are doing very well, the school says the 4 year old is behaving much better, so we feel like if we show them these pics we will confuse the kids and might create instability and insecurity at the moment. Do you know what is the longest the investigation will take, what is the likeliwood of the kids returning with the kinship parents, are kinship parents allwed to take classes to improve just like bio parents to get the kids back, and can we object at showing the pics until we know what is going to happen. Please, any information will be helpful. Thank you

70. We have been placement for my husbands nephew and niece for over a year, at which they had already been in placement 1yr prior; we were not aware of this until the state reached out to us. I think the placement with family can be just as bad as it good. Our situation IMHO, the drug/alcoholic sister has no motivation to get her babies back, they are safe and well taken care of by FAMILY. It’s been TWO years for either parent (now divorced) to get clean, get a job and establish a safe home. Neither can handle being 30 days sober… why hasn’t parental rights been terminated yet? No need to answer that. But if it was a year ago I may have considered adoption, but I’m burned out, I can’t do it now.

    The initial assumption and goal was 6 months to reintegrate… and here we are. One teen with major behavioral issues and the other that has come a long way with us through the transition. Honestly we are barely empty-nesters, done raising littles, just trying to do the right thing. But it has been CRAZY with appointments, visits, school ISS/OSS (missing work) and things for these kids you don’t think about prior if you are family placement, and/or not gone through fostercare training. We are missing our own kids events/activities and it has been a huge impact on our family from every direction. I feel selfish, but can’t do it anymore. They deserve better than I can give to them!!!

    My point is, make sure you have tons of time (at least 70% of your weekly routine) and plenty of love to give or it will drain you. I often think they would have been better off with someone the parents did not know, as the unknown may have been more motivation to get there lives together. I applaud all of you that have done this successfully, you are the real hero’s.

71. Can a kinship care giver talk the kids out of state with out the mom and dad knowing and saying that and go we live in sc

72. You can petition the court to gain custody as the psychological parent. This puts you on the same playing field as a biological parent has. When you go to court you will need to ave an expert’s testimony that you are the psychological parent There are 5 points the court looks at. Google psychological parent custody in NJ. Hope this helps & good luck.

73. Yes they need to be with family tjat how the system goes. The mother signs the paper for you to get yhem and they have to do a home study. Frim texas call casa. And they can help

74. I am a teacher and a licensed foster parent. Are there any laws that bar me from fostering my students who may enter foster care? In my state, that’s considered kinship placement since I know the kids. My principal says it might be a conflict of interest; however, she says she’s not sure if the district has rules against it.

75. There are no laws prohibiting teachers from fostering children within their classrooms. In fact, teachers can be considered a wonderful option outside of blood relatives. Because you know the children, this would still qualify as a kinship placement.

    I would talk to your district about restrictions they may have, but, again, there is no official law against fostering your pupils.

    Please let us know if you have any further questions.

    Sincerely,
    Lenore Bonilla
    Support Services Manager

76. Hire an attorney ASAP. Kinship placement should always be considered first. You will have to do a little more work because of crossing state lines but if can be done. Good luck

77. What if the mother still tries to claim them and she hasnt had them in 10 months?

78. Thank you for reaching out to embrella (formerly known as Foster and Adoptive Family Services) regarding your question. As per the IRS requirement, you can claim a child in placement on your taxes if the child lived in your home for more than half a year (183 days). If this is applicable to you and you fear that bio mom will attempt to claim the children as well, I would recommend that you reach out to your Child Protection Agency asking that they provide you with a letter which includes the children’s SSNs and the dates in which they were in your care so that you can attach with your taxes as supporting documentation. While bio mom may still attempt to claim the children, having this documentation will support the IRS requirement. If you have any other questions, I would recommend that you speak to an accountant or a tax professional.

    I wish you all the best,
    Jessica Hernandez
    Family Advocate

79. I live in North Caroina
    Cps case was closed after 12 months. The mother didn’t complete the requirement of cps for reunification. The child is 3 now. I am now the kinship grandmother. Can the mom reunite with her now and what would be the time frame. Is there guidelines she would comply with to have reunification with her daughter.

80. I currently have my niece through kin ship, I want to know if I happen to go for kin gap do I have full control over her life? Will I be able to say who comes and goes in her life? What’s the difference in regular adaption??

81. Hi Kii,

    Thank you for reaching out to embrella, formerly known as Foster and Adoptive Family Services regarding your question. The information below has been pulled directly from CP&P policy regarding open cases In NJ considering whether Kinship Legal Guardian (KLG) or adoption is the best option. When it comes to decision making, the biggest difference between Kinship Legal Guardianship (KLG) and adoption is that when you adopt, all decisions are made by the adoptive parents including the child’s legal name. Whereas when you do KLG, all major decisions regarding school, medical treatment and consent for most other major life decisions are made by the kinship legal guardian. When birth parents retain parental rights they have the ability to make two important decisions (e.g., consenting to the child’s change of name and of his or her adoption).

    I also would like to point out that in adoption, the adoptive parent decides if the child will have a relationship with the birth family. Whereas with KLG, if the birth parents’ rights have not been terminated, they have the right to visit or spend parenting time with the child, unless a court orders no visits. The KLG caregiver will have input into how the visits are set up, but cannot prevent the visits from taking place. If the KLG caregiver does not follow the court order and the parent(s) file a motion with the court to enforce visitation rights, he or she can be sanctioned. Birth parents also have the right to petition the court to have the child returned to them under KLG. There are also legal and financial differences between KLG and adoption that should also be considered when making a decision.

    I hope that this information has been helpful and I wish you all the best.

    Warm Regards,
    Jessica Hernandez
    Family Advocate

82. The court can end the guardianship before the child turns 18 if: Ending the guardianship is best for the child; The parents become able to take care of the child; or
    The kinship legal guardian is unable to take care of the child. If the parent or guardian seeks to end the guardianship before the child turns 18, s/he will have to file a motion with the court. The court will hold a hearing and determine whether the guardianship should be ended. If a parent wants to regain custody of his or her child, s/he will have to prove to the court that the circumstances that led to the kinship legal guardianship have changed and that s/he can now take care of the child. The parent will have to prove this with strong evidence, called clear and convincing evidence.

    Sincerely,
    Nia Nanton
    Family Advocate

83. We have a 11 year old child that has been with us for 3 1/2 years fostering. His moms rights were terminated and he was up for adoption. He does not want to be adopted so we are looking into Kinship, which means now mom rights will be reinstated. While we understand that his mother gets to see her son. Can we request how many times during the month she can see him. Also, if she does not like our decision and takes us to court, are we liable to pay the court or is there no fee for us since she is taking us to court? Also, if we need to take her to court, do we did a lawyer or can we represent our situation ourselves?

84. Pam,

    Thank you for reaching out with your questions. Policies vary by state regarding the age when a child can consent to their own adoption. In New Jersey, the child typically can be a part of the decision-making process around age 10 if their maturity level allows. While I do not know what state you are in, New Jersey usually will not reinstate a parent’s rights after termination has occurred, even if the goal changes. Kinship Legal Guardianship (KLG) can still take place without rights being reinstated. If parental rights were not terminated, there is an opportunity for the parent to request a hearing with the court to end the KLG, but this does not happen often. With KLG, there is typically an order for visitation, though it is much more structured. This is something that should be discussed with the caseworker and the child’s Law Guardian/Guardian Ad Litem. The visitation schedule, if any, would be set at the time of the KLG hearing. The mother can petition the court at any point regarding parenting time, but there is no cost to you and it is typically not the type of case that requires legal representation. If you have specific questions, you may find more help by speaking to the child’s attorney or reaching out to your local Legal Aid for state/county specific details.

85. Pingback: Families and the National Foster Home Shortage – CrimLawandPolicy

86. I agree with some comments made by a few people they are putting it in a nice way. Don’t wait you need to go up the chain of command and document everything have proof, save stuff, print it out everything you can!!!! TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE, will be used against you about not comming forth soon or fast enough. Proof, dates, times, should it go to court. Kinship should be preference. Doesn’t always work that way. Usually when they make up their mind about a child staying with foster parents they stay on that path. No matter what! It’s a catch 22. The worker just won’t get back to you. Why you need to go higher up sometimes that don’t work either. GET HELP, GET LOTS OF KNOWLEGE ABOUT WHO AND WHAT YOU ARE DEALING WITH. Hope and pray you are heard and get a team that works with you not against you. It’s tough to have a voice.

87. Its not up to the case worker. She can only suggest…
    All states give family the opportunity to take the children first. If you want those children, go to the state where the case resides. And go to the child court and tell them you need to put a potion for your sisters kids. They ALWAYS give the family first option. I did it without a lawyer and it is fairly simple. At the top of the portion write EMERGENCY on it and it tends to go be4 the judge faster. Give all the information you can. And you should be ok. No matter what the case worker says. It isn’t up to them. At all.

88. Its a simple thing to do. The state the children reside in has kid courts. If not then go to the adult court. Tell them you need the proper forms to fill out for the children. There will Abe a form per child. Fill it out and turn it in. You will receive a court date in the mail. And go in front of the judge and hold nothing back. The kids lawyer and case worker will be there against you. So give it your all. But family always gets first choice. And don’t let to much time go by. The sooner the petition is filed the better. It is a waiting thing. So get to it. And you don’t need a lawyer. Don’t let anyone tell you that you do. It’s called filing pro we. Meaning you are representing yourself. It’s easy. Stressful but easy.

89. Pro se. Sorry my phone puts words and uninternational spelling.
    Tell them you want papers for filing custody.

90. It’s called filing. “Pro se”. Sorry my phone puts words and uninternational spelling.
    Tell them you want papers for filing custody.

91. Hire an attorney ; you will win

92. DCYF has custody of my 7 month old daughter, and she is now living with her grandparents. Me and her father are still together, both in recovery now, and doing well. We’re doing everything the judge and DCYF has asked us to do. Working, staying clean- attending drug court, attending visits with our daughter & her doctor appts, councilling, IOP, a parenting program, and a few other services that are helping us better our lives. The case is moving along, and the judge has granted more & longer visits. We have several months before the time limit to terminate our parental rights is up. Everything is moving in the right direction, but her grandparents want to keep her forever. We’ve been told the outcome will be completely up to us. If we stay clean, continue working, doing everything they ask, and prove we have a stable loving home for our daughter to come back too. Then she will return to us and it’s completely out of her grandparents control. But they’ve hired a lawyer & it just makes me nervous. Our DCYF worker also told us he spoke to their lawyer and told him if they interfere in the reunification process in any way, they may have to remove her and place her with another foster family. If we do everything the judge and DCYF orders us to do & stay clean, is there anything her grandparents can do to keep her instead of her coming home? Or can they keep trying to get custody once we have our daughter back? We’re in Rhode Island since I know each state has different laws. Thanks!

93. I have a question my grand babies where just taken from my daughter she wants me to take the kids I do live 5 hours away I did call the case worker and I have yet to talk to him but he did relay a message to me threw my other daughter saying that I can take the babies if it’s a long term stay but at this time they want to keep the kids as close for the moment until the investigation is over. Does this sound right? And as a grandparent can I get my grandbabies I’m already a guardian for my disabled sister? Will they take that into consideration? Thank you for any response.

94. Why would northern rivers which in ny does visitations and involved with the removal and work hand I hand with dss.they are asking kinship to withdraw their petition, because the Child won’t have any health care insurance and they won’t get paid? This seems very odd as it was an illegal removal and I believe they are doing things sneaky. Thank you

95. My 3 grandaughters are in foster home in tenn. I live in N.C. Im trying to get them. There ages are 1, 2 and 6. The 6 year old is not handling the foster home very well and is rebelling. Dss in tenn says its a long process cause they are in a different state. I dont quite understand im still there grandmother. What can i do to help speed up this process?

96. What we need is help once in a while…daycare perhaps a few times a month. I have 3 kids 14,12 and 11 and I’ve been fostering my nice who’s 1 since birth. My entire life cane to a stand still.. I’m exhausted

97. Hi we have had our kinship placement since she was 4 days old. she is now 16 months. bio aunt did not come into picture until 4 months in until bio dads paternity was established. she had a home study and I guess passed and DCS ultimately denied it. now here we are 16 month mark and bio dads attorney is has filed a motion to change placement to bio dads sister. by law in AZ we are now considered kinship at 9 months. do we have stuff to be worried about? parental rights are going to be severed in May. any suggestion or helpful tips would be appreciated.

    Thank Youu

98. Huh kinship not just grandparents me and my wife got are nephew this second time in year and he need home. Don’t make up facts I went to kinship meeting there all young ppl.

99. What the Social workers won’t tell you is that if you’re a “kinship” placement you don’t get a check from the government every month to help with costs .. foster parents do ! We have to still deal with compiling to all the demands and paperwork they throw at us that foster care parents have to but you as a kinship parent don’t get any money. I’m retired and I have this four year old who grows like a weed so new clothes and shoes every other month … foods up to this point we did have in the house but do now, extra electricity for extra laundry etc and I’m supposed to manufacture extra income from where ? I can apply for funds here and there … but foster parents get between 500 and 700 dollars a month ! This is why the state likes kinship placements !

100. I have 4 grandchildren I just took in March 20, 2020.
     11yr old, 3yr old, 2yr old, and newborn. The 2 smallest are my blood, but that really doesnt make a difference to me. I lived in a 1 bedroom apt just got a divorce when I was hit with the fact that if I didnt take them on my own they would go into the system. I moved to a 2 bedroom and spent what money I had to accommodate them.Through Covid19 and trying to keep my job and trying to deal with needs of all of them I’ve almost lost my mind. But I kept pushing since there wasnt another way. Now I’m so attached to the baby. Their mother is out of rehab and she has to prove she can stay clean etc. She has another child of 14 I didnt take because I was afraid she would cause me to lose them all. I have never been without them since that day, or even had 1 break, or a weekend, nothing. The baby doesnt know his mother at all. He thinks I’m his mother. He is my blood grandson and I want to fight to keep him. Even though I signed to adopt them all if she doesnt get it together.i have a great caseworker. I also have older grandkids that help me at home. I recently started working nights because I could not keep up with millions of appts for these kids. Its exhausting, I sleep about 3 hours a day.

101. I have a question my Granddaughter was taken in foster care in massachusetts the court placed her in DCF custidy i live in maine everyone I have spoken to say I need to live in same state where child is and file for kinship

102. What is sick about the Kinship program ? Two people who became fosters under the kinship program. Can not produce a child.to So, they device a scheme . Make claims to dhr, stating,”my wife and I are drug addicts, with criminal records. Those statements completely false and they took our children. Get this, the Kinship Fosters, my wife’s sister and her husband, both go to a Methadone Clinic for opiate drug abuse . Anyways after a year of hardships, i finally turned this whole thing around. The judge was impressed and now DHR is in our favor. If anyone would like to hear more about the nightmare? Or interested in hearing where we are now please reach out.

103. I am a grandparent caring for my 11-month granddaughter and fighting for my two other grandchildren (siblings) out of state. DCS and children’s attorney (GAL) are preferring the foster parents and foster parents are unapproachable and angry at me. It has been a year now and still fighting. The only thing I’ve been granted is 4 hours/month for supervised visits with my grandchildren. I immediately hired an 1 , 2and now a third attorney. First attorney misrepresented me, the 2nd finally convinced the judge to grant me en evidentry hearing but I found out she is just sprouting as a family law attorney so I hired a 3rd experienced in trials and family law. I also submitted a grievance against DCS with the ombudsman because DCS never exercised due diligence in notifying me or explaining the options to me. In fact, at the beginning with the first baby, they made it clear that it was best for the baby to stay in Foster care so the parents could visit and be reunified and for me as a “grandma” not to get involved. I had no knowledge of the system and was ignorant to believe the reassurance of the specialist that she would contact me should the matter not be resolved. She never did . And I was ignorant, also the distance between different states and my son reassurances that all was going well. I never believed he was using drugs. He lied. Now, the sad truth is that instead of one child, there are 3 . What keeps me going is that I am blessed to have the third Baby sibling in my custody and will keep fighting hard to get my other 2 grandchildren. This is my priority in this difficult mission I have embarked. By the way, I did the ICPC and all else that is required in less than 6 mos. but still DCS won’t consider me or answer my emails or phone calls. I go in person from out of state and request to speak with the specialist/caseworker, supervisor, program manager , adoption specialist and all they tell me is ‘it is up to the judge.’ I will not lose hope and will continue to fight , if I need to go to the Supreme Court, I will.

104. I am a kinship placement. Due to covid the trainings are on zoom which makes them so much more accessible. I go to every one I can because it feels like the info I have learned is like the lights coming on in a dark room. Why did I not recieve intensive training when I first took on this role? So much info I could have used! I asked to have the training non family foster parents recieved. Adoption worker told me she would set that up, no follow through. Zero emotion support dispite asking for counseling and being told we would.recieve some Then the pandemic hit suddenly I am parent & teacher zero support meanwhile birth mother is suicidal, oding , in and out of mental wards. I am over whelmed dealing with all the issues which could have been avoided if I had recieved through early training and on going emotion support. I feel I am in a much better space armed with my new info but then adoptiin worker who sees us for maybe 15 mins once a month keeps making strange comments like grandbaby is unhappy and where did she get that bruise ( a scar she had from before I fostered her). This is creating terrible anxiety in me which hypervigilent grand picks up on. Meanwhile her therapist who sees her once a week for 45 mins tells me my grand is the most resiliant & happy child in her practice. She is doing fabulous in school and involved in all kinds of formal & non formal activities outside of school. Yet I worry I have no rights to even have a voice in court. When I am told about court… I have recieved one formal notice which arrived after the court date. The worker tells me about court dates I am not sure you can be there or its being done administratively. Low and behold the 1 right I have is to be told of court dates in advance and attend. The judge that will decide our fates on 1 person’s thoughts who has spent a total of 15 mins a month with us. What if she doesn’t like me or projects things that aren’t there? I know one family that amost lost their grand , but because they could afford a lawyer it didnt happen. 2 years later her grand is thriving.
     Kinship placements should get training and support. They should have some rights as this is family.

105. Most of the time Agencies from different states can work together. Maybe you can contact the department of child and familes in your city and see what advice they give you. Families of the children are usually given first priority not the foster parent. you can go to court an argue that you want the children in your care . you can attend a court hearing which are done frequently and you can be heard. also the children have their own lawyer you can contact them as well your sister should have that information. There are many ways to get around this the social worker does not have the final say.

106. I have fostering my grandbaby for 3 years.. he is almost 5…a week ago something happened at my house involving his dad. They took my grandson n placed him in foster home. I was informed by the caseworker today I am not in the investigation and not being indicated. However, my baby won’t come back to me. Pls someone help me.

107. That is so kind as of you! I’m grandma in Shawnee is, my daughter has had every opportunity to clean up. I love her
     She has 2 beautiful daughters. I’m desperate to give them a secure, loving home. They are in stare custody. I’ve always said I would be honored to take care of my granddaughter who need family , their blood family . I’m sitting right here. I don’t want to go Into everything here .
     PLEASE PLEASE HELP ME GIVE MY GRANDAUGHTERS A HOME
     grandmarabinoff@yahoo.com

108. I just wanted to add that birth parents are much more likely to take advantage of kinship caregivers than foster parents who would be strangers and have no prior bond. Sometimes the parents don’t take rules seriously, try to get around regulations, and try to manipulate their family connections to get their own way. Sometimes it makes you the bad guy in the family when you have to be the one to supervise your own relative. Be prepared to have every “parenting” decision you make on behalf of the kids be discussed, rediscussed and weighed in on by all of your relatives. Be prepared to be made to feel like all of the rules you are required to follow on behalf of DHS are your own unreasonable rules, and don’t be surprised if the whole entire family thinks you are suddenly the mean one. Also, birth parents often feel so comfortable with their trusted family members caring for their kids that they can be less cooperative with DHS and are sometimes slow to do whatever it is they need to do to get their kids back since they know for sure that the kids are ok. I feel like if the kids were with strangers, the birth parents wouldn’t be as comfortable with the situation and so would be much quicker to do what they need to do to get their kids back. Just keep this in mind when weighing the pros and cons of kinship care. Ask yourself how long you are willing to do this and if you would have the guts to remove the kids if it didn’t work out long term. Or are you willing to just raise them? It might come to that. Be ready for those kind of questions. Know your limits ahead of time. Also, think about how the situation would affect your relationship with the parent if you felt like it was too much for you and you had to send their kids away somewhere else? How much of your own life are you willing to give up for this? The pros of kinship care is prior bond. It’s personal. The kids know you. The cons of kinship care are also prior bond, and things do get very personal and very complicated fast. When they get personal, and you make hard choices, it can affect your relationship with ALL your family, not just the birth parent and kids. You will be the go between among the kids, their own parents, the rest of your family, and DHS and you will probably spend a lot of time being the whipping post. Just a few things I wish someone would have told me. Fostering your relatives is super hard and super personal. I had unrealistic expectations. I thought the kids would love my home and be grateful. In reality, kids seldom have the forethought to be grateful, and rarely adapt well to rules after living with someone with no rules. They can be grumpy, surly, moody and unappreciative. The parents can be even more unappreciative. If you are doing this expecting a thank you, don’t do it. You have to understand that it’s going to tax you physically, mentally, and emotionally. If after hearing all this, you still want to do it, go for it. Sometimes fostering is rewarding. A lot of times it isn’t. Just thought people ought to know these things. I wish I had.

109. What happened with your case because I have a similar case with my nephew in another state and foster agency against me and wants him to remain in foster care. He’s a baby.

110. was your nephew in foster care?

111. Can you help me? My nephew is in NY and I’ve been approved for an ICPC home study as a resource parent – we live in Cali. He’s been in foster care since he was 6 days old and I’ve been trying to get him since he was 8 months old. The foster agency case worker are against me because they say he’s fine with the foster mom he is with. I wasn’t able to take him at birth because of extenuating circumstances – my sister – his mom was mentally ill and I was trying to take care of her to get her off the streets and get a guardian for her. Anyway, fast forward – I haven’t been able to see him due to Covid and the courts closing and things dragging. We have TPR hearings in May and I dont know where the GAL stands. But I do have an attorney who I had to hire because the foster agency was not considering me as a resource. The judge will need to make a best interest hearing decision. The foster mom lives in a crappy area, is unmarried, a different culture and religion and not very nice. I on the other hand live in Cali with my husband and 2 boys in a very nice and clean area with a higher income and home childcare. Does the judge take income and area into consideration? I really dont want my nephew to be raised in the ghetto by a ghetto person. I just need some advice.

112. also I’ve been having virtual weekly visits with him since June or July and I was suppose to go visit but had to cancel due to Covid the GAL made me cancel. Now me and my husband are fully vaccinated and plan on seeing him next month. The foster mom hates me seeing him and she said virtual visits are not bonding and he probably thinks I’m a movie or something. That is so mean. I told my attorney and she said she would tell the GAL.

113. I am being considered for a kinship but there is also a fictive kinship. they are going to start transitioning fc to the fictive because mine is out of state should I be worried about getting her or is this a sign that they chose the other non relative family

114. Please HELP me I have a child that is in my care under the Kinship care act and it has been a big disaster she runs away steals out my purse she does/ the drugs acid and valium the mother is under investigation that’s why she is with me she is so disrespectful I have pleaded and pleaded with DSS to please get her and that iam afraid of her because of the way she acts after she been in the streets on the drugs but they will not do nothing say they will call back and never does iam a very sick person with a clasping Trachea just had back surgery iam so afraid of her especially afraid being out there on drugs please someone help me and tell me how to get this 17 year Removed iam afraid of her

115. I am/was a kindship foster to my grandchildren, just yesterday DHS came to my home and told me they were taking the kids out of my custody and home because they have been told “I raise my voice to the kids at times” and called it an unsafe environment. They are not unsafe at all and I don’t yell, scream and cuss, just sometimes after asking them to do something 10 times you get a little more firm with your tone and then they listen…. is what they did right? Is raising your voice really making it an unsafe environment? My granddaughter was texting me last night and sent a picture of herself crying her eyes out and she said they told the CW that they only want to live with me.

116. Get a lawyer. Don’t wait

117. My husband and I live in NC, and we have kinship foster care of his sister son that is 13 months old… On July 13, 2021; we had to start supervising his sister with her child because when we came back home on vacation on the 6th of July; his sister was here and wanted us to lie to the CPS worker and said that she lived here with her son and us; I refuse to lie for her… I had moved their mother into my house 2 months before all of this because she was having to get ready for dialysis and I knew her daughter wouldn’t help her mother get to and from dialysis… her daughter always complain that it is hard to take care of her mother and child which all they did was hold him all day… anyways back to my point; it took 9 weeks before the first case worker moved it to foster care because my husband sister didn’t comply to nothing the case worker asked her to do… one thing the case worker asked her to do is put him in day care… the baby, my daughter and mother in law end up with Covid at the beginning of September and I had to shut my house down for days and not let anyone in or out of my house and the mother in law wouldn’t comply to it and she continue to go out and go with her daughter places after the doctor told her that she needed to isolate herself for 10 days because of Covid and I gave my sister in law the option to see and talk to her son through Facebook messenger daily and she refuse it and all she wanted was to continue to come in my house while she had Covid and I had to put my foot down to her..On Sept 24; she was served papers saying the baby was being put in foster care and he was being left in my and her brother care… on Sept 28; she was told that she couldn’t have no contact with her unless it was at dss and it would be only one hour per week… she flipped out and her mother leaves with her … they called CPS on me that evening since they called her case worker and tried to get the child in her mother custody and since she has so many health issues they told her no.. and that whole week her case worker tried reaching out to her to set up a visit with her and she never returned his called.. on October 4; she go turns in the pre-head-start papers and send me a text at 12:03 am saying that the baby starts pre head start at 8am and she also send her brother the same text message… I called the case worker and since I couldn’t reach him; I reached out to the first case worker and she sends me the new case worker cell phone number because I screenshot the text to the first case worker… the mother was hoping that I would take him in there that day so she could go by and see him; and since I didn’t take him to pre head start that she finally reached out to the case worker and set up a visit to see her son… now the FC case worker is telling me that it doesn’t matter who enrolled him into the pre head start program that he has to attend the program… so what are my options here as a foster parent??? Please email me back at joyceaherring80@icloud.com

118. Thank you , for your on-point,
     Gruelingly- honest take on what
     The family member may expect once they are in the position of being the kinship care-giver .vs.
     The complications that Can arise , & do ; Its super-hard …sometimes there are no answers to be found.
     You must do what. must be done;
     In Keeping true to what it was you rose to the opportunity allowedcto ensure;
     The child is provided a healthy , stable ,safe atmosphere , where they are loved , by whom they love;
     Without fear of. being given up on …to carry them through these rough times; protect them, teach them the value of. Self , –
     Regardless , of impaction it may or may not have at any point , on any one, or issue it may be relative to :
     If a relative has the strength actuate thiis; the future will be undoubtly brighter than being placed in a strangers home.

119. Thank you. I took in my grandson under pressure, not realizing how severe his troubles were. My daughter tried to take advantage of the situation and thought she could now contact her son outside of DCYF. It was already strained between us and it got worse when I took my grandson in. He’s 10. I couldn’t deal with her and though I love my grandson, emotionally it was too much. My husband and I are both 65, and still working. My grandson needed to be in a clinical setting to have his trauma addressed and to get correct diagnoses. We sent him back to state care and I feel miserable about it. If he can get stabilized, we are considering taking him back as I doubt my daughter will get it together.

120. I swear I wrote your post. It’s exactly how I feel. Frustrated, tricked. Drained.

121. Just found out the father of my child isn’t the father and I feel like she’s In danger but it’s a foster care kinship case where shes placed with him but he’s so kin to her